An Open Letter To The American Granny

Dear Granny,We know you mean well. Really, wekids wore special shoes and braces to straighten
do. And we acknowledge that your well-meaningout their feet. But lots of other kids didn't get
often translates into wonderful actions. Youthose special shoes and braces. And you know
support America's first-time moms with yourwhat? Most of their feet straightened out just
experienced advice, you volunteer to watchfine. Those that didn't straighten out completely
grandkids when they're too sick to attendhad few long-term problems. Most could walk and
daycare, and you have taken on the noblerun and jump and skip just fine. Our doctor will
responsibility of raising grandchildren fulltime whenkeep an eye on the feet, and if he's concerned
their parents are sick or neglectful or imprisoned.he'll send us to an orthopedic specialist. You voiced
What's more, you take on this job at a timeyour concern. We heard it. Now, please, drop
when you should be enjoying the freedom ofit.One more example: Ears. The infections aren't
retirement. For these actions, we salute you.our fault. We don't smoke around Little Johnny,
Really, we do.However, it has come to ourand he doesn't go to daycare anymore (since you
attention that at other times your well-meaningagreed to watch him). Our pediatrician says those
has turned into persistent nagging. In an effort totwo things are the biggest ones we can control.
protect your grandchildren from the idiocy of theirThe ear infections aren't from water or wind or
parents, you have gone overboard. Now beforechange of weather. They're from mouth bacteria
you dismiss our complaint as the ramblings of athat get into the middle ear through the
bunch of disrespectful youngins, please allow us toEustachian tube, a natural connection between the
describe a few concrete examples of thethroat and ear. Little Johnny has a floppy
problem.Let's start with diet. Could you please limitEustachian tube. Bacteria go up the tube and get
your complaints to once a month? We know fulltrapped when the tube flops closed. Add a little
well that you believe Little Johnny is starving. Butmucus from smoke or allergies or viral infections,
you know what? We don't share your concern.and the situation gets worse. You can't get rid of
It's okay if you feel his ribs. In case you haven'tthe mouth bacteria--they're supposed to be there.
noticed, there's a bit of a weight problem inGet rid of them and you'll invite thrush to grow,
America today. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Afterand we don't want that either. We'll keep doing
all, how many years did you pile on the food andthe antibiotics as long as our doctor tells us to,
tell us to clean our plates? Our pediatrician tells usand when he suggests surgery, we'll go with that.
it's healthy for toddlers to graze--as long as theyThe antibiotics don't stain teeth or stunt growth.
get a healthy diet with all the food groups overSure, antibiotic resistance is a problem. We
the course of several days. Eating only whenunderstand that. We appreciate your keeping up
you're hungry and stopping when you're full is awith the medical literature. Still, if our doc says it's
good habit to foster. Feeling guilty about throwingbest to stick with them, that's what we'll do.As
out left-overs is not. Sure, there are starving kidswe draw this letter to a close, please understand
in other parts of the world. You taught us that.our aim is not to offend. After all, you were an
What we didn't get was the connection betweenexcellent parent. You raised us. You have lots of
our table scrap and those starving kids. Were youexperienced advice to share. But let's face it,
going to box up the left-overs and send them toraising four kids is not the same as seeing 30-40
Africa? No. So please forgive us for skipping thatkids a day. Our pediatrician's advice wins over
lesson.Next, let's talk feet. So what if they turn inyours. You may not agree with him. That's fine.
or point out a little? We'll show our doctor andBut please, let it go and stop nagging us.Love
we'll let him do an examine. If he says they'realways,Your ChildrenCopyright 2006 Mike Patrick
fine, we're going with that, and we wish youJr, MDMike is an American pediatrician.
would too. Look, we understand back in your day