| As one of the biggest and most
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| | insulting. Remember, these days friends
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| potentially stressful events of your
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| | and family are often spread all over the
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| life, getting engaged and subsequently
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| | country, and people are accustomed to
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| planning a wedding brings with it an
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| | traveling. On the other hand, if you
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| onslaught of questions. As times change
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| | haven't spoken in years, an invitation
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| and weddings evolve, traditional rules of
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| | may look like no more than a request for
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| etiquette have followed suit, only adding
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| | a gift. In those cases, send a wedding
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| to the confusion.
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| | announcement instead, which carries no
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| To gain perspective, first understand
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| | gift-giving obligation.
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| that "etiquette" is above all about
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| | Gift-giving Etiquette:
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| treating people with courtesy and making
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| | Yes, we all love to receive gifts, and
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| them feel comfortable. When an etiquette
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| | weddings are a perfect occasion for
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| question arises, consider the feelings of
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| | gift-giving. Friends and loved ones
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| those who will be affected. To steer you
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| | customarily honor the commitment of the
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| through the fog of questions, I've
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| | newly betrothed by showering them with
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| compiled a quick look at the top five
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| | gifts. As the happy couple, just remember
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| most common wedding etiquette dilemmas:
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| | to always feel privileged-not entitled.
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| Family Etiquette, Invitation Etiquette,
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| | So, let's review a bit of etiquette as it
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| Gift Etiquette, Attire Etiquette and The
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| | relates to wedding gifts...
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| Cash Bar Issue.
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| | 1) Never mention gifts (gift choices or
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| Family Etiquette:
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| | gift registry) on the invitation.
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| Introducing Your Parents -
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| | 2) Publicize your registry information by
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| If the bride and groom's parents have not
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| | word of mouth. It's also acceptable to
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| met prior to the engagement, tradition
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| | include it on a wedding website or shower
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| dictates that the groom's family calls
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| | invitation (since showers are not
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| and introduces themselves to the bride's
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| | typically hosted by the bride or groom)
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| family and arranges a meeting. If the
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| | 3) There is no polite way to ask for cash
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| groom's parents do not make the first
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| | gifts. This can only be done through word
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| introduction, then the bride's parents
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| | of mouth.
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| should. Nowadays, who makes the first
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| | 4) Honeymoon registries are appropriate.
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| call is irrelevant; all that really
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| | 5) Do not use any gifts until after a
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| matters is that the parents meet. If
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| | wedding.
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| meeting face to face is impossible, a
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| | 6) All gifts, even shower gifts, must be
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| letter or phone call will suffice.
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| | returned if the wedding is cancelled or
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| Introducing Divorced Parents -
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| | annulled before living together as a
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| If the groom's parents are divorced, the
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| | married couple.
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| parent with the closest relationship to
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| | 7) Gift giving for vow renewal,
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| the groom should take the first step in
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| | reaffirmation ceremonies or encore
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| meeting the bride's parents. If both sets
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| | weddings is not mandatory, but is a nice
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| are divorced, the parent closest to the
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| | gesture.
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| groom should first contact the bride's
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| | 8) There is no special formula for
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| suggested parent. If no one begins the
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| | determining the appropriate amount a
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| introduction process, the couple should
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| | guest should spend on a gift. The idea
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| step in and ensure that everyone meets,
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| | that each gift should cost as much as one
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| while refraining from forcing potentially
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| | plate at the reception is an impractical
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| awkward situations.
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| | misconception.
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| Your In-Laws -
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| | Attire Etiquette:
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| The groom's parents often feel left out
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| | While rules for modern wedding attire
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| of the planning process. To avoid this,
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| | have evolved with the times, there are
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| invite your future in-laws into the
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| | still traditional standards for fabrics,
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| initial dialogue. You should immediately
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| | lengths and styles. Here are some
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| inform them of your ideas regarding
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| | guidelines:
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| location, date, size and style of the
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| | The formality of your bridesmaids'
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| wedding. Take queues on their desired
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| | dresses should match that of your wedding
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| level of involvement and include them
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| | dress. Although traditionally the dresses
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| accordingly. Let them make offers to
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| | were the same length as the wedding gown,
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| pitch in with finances or planning. Above
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| | the rise in popularity of tea- and
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| all, keep them informed throughout your
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| | knee-length bridesmaids' dresses has
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| engagement.
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| | relaxed that rule. As long as the fabric
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| Invitation Etiquette:
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| | and overall style matches the formality
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| Inviting partners and guests -
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| | of your floor-length gown, shorter
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| If an invited guest is married, engaged
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| | bridesmaids' dresses are perfectly
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| or living with a significant other, that
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| | acceptable.
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| partner must be included in the
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| | For evening weddings, guests should dress
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| invitation. A single invitation addressed
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| | for a nice dinner or event - which
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| to both individuals should be sent to
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| | includes suits (or black tie) for men and
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| spouses or couples who live together,
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| | dresses or skirts in sophisticated colors
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| while separate invitations should be sent
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| | and fabrics for women. Lengths can vary
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| to each member of an engaged or long term
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| | according to the style of the event and
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| couple who don't live together. Inviting
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| | location. Female guests may now wear
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| single guests with a date is a thoughtful
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| | black, but never white.
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| gesture, but one that is not required. If
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| | The Cash Bar Issue:
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| you are inviting a single guest with a
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| | Yes, weddings are expensive. Yes, couples
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| date, try to find out the name of your
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| | should be on the lookout for budget
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| friend's intended date and include that
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| | saving tips. Yes, weddings are expensive
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| person's name on the invitation.
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| | - we know. But never - under any
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| Otherwise, inner envelopes may include
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| | circumstances - should you ever consider
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| "And Guest," indicating that he or she
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| | hosting a cash bar at your reception.
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| may bring any chosen escort or friend.
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| | Think about it - you would never ask
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| Guests Who Ask to Bring a Guest -
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| | anyone to pay for a cocktail in your own
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| Your guests should know better! It is
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| | home. People at your reception are still
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| never appropriate for a guest to ask to
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| | your guests, even if the event is not
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| bring a date, and you have every right to
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| | held in your house. That said, if a full
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| politely say no. However, if you discover
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| | bar is not within your budget, consider
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| that a guest is engaged or living with a
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| | these alternatives:
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| significant other, you should extend a
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| | Host a soft bar, in which guests can
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| written or verbal invitation.
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| | order champagne, beer and wine.
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| Invitations to out-of-town guests -
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| | Find a reception site that allows you to
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| Many brides ponder whether or not it's
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| | bring in your own alcohol; you will save
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| appropriate to invite long distance
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| | serious cash, and anything unopened can
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| guests for whom it may be impossible to
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| | be returned for a full refund.
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| attend. Use your best judgment. Is this
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| | Cut down the size of your guest list -
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| person truly a close friend who would
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| | the only significant way to reduce costs
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| want to attend your celebration? If so,
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| | in the first place.
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| failing to extend an invitation may be
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