| Most adults know how much to spend on | | | | |
| birthday gifts or Mother's Day and Father's | | | | U.S. National Average |
| Day gifts. We have a feel for what is | | | | |
| appropriate for baby gifts. But when it comes | | | | In the U.S., the national averages spent on |
| to wedding gifts, how much to spend may not | | | | wedding gifts fall into 3 categories. Each |
| be so easy to determine. We don't want to | | | | category is determined by the relationship of |
| spend so little that we look cheap, but we | | | | the guests to the bridal couple. |
| don't want to spend more than we can afford | | | | |
| just to compete with other guests. | | | | 1. If buying for a co-worker or a distant |
| | | | family member, guests tend to spend $50-$75 |
| Etiquette | | | | each on a wedding gift. |
| | | | |
| With wedding gifts, how much to spend seems | | | | 2. Those attending the wedding of a relative |
| to be a question of etiquette. Few of us feel | | | | or friend are likely to spend $75-$100 each |
| totally comfortable with the rules of | | | | on a wedding gift. |
| etiquette. In other areas of life, society | | | | |
| has moved away from such rules. Etiquette | | | | 3. When a close relative or close friend gets |
| books no longer have a place on our | | | | married, the wedding gift will probably cost |
| bookshelves. | | | | $100-$150 or more per each guest. |
| | | | |
| Happily, etiquette books, or at least those | | | | This may not be appropriate in your town or |
| who read them, have a place on the Internet. | | | | city. It is good to check with peers and |
| By researching those sites, you can get a | | | | learn what wedding gifts customarily cost |
| better idea of how much to spend on wedding | | | | where you live. |
| gifts. You will want to remember these | | | | |
| points. | | | | Personal Decision |
| | | | |
| 1. Negative: Do NOT try to spend according to | | | | With wedding gifts, how much to spend really |
| what your meal will cost. It is a common myth | | | | is a personal decision. Guests may give |
| that etiquette's "rule of thumb" is to | | | | whatever wedding gifts they choose. You |
| estimate how much your meal might cost and | | | | should never be guided by how much you think |
| spend that much on a gift. The current (2007) | | | | the bride's family will spend on the meal. |
| price range for a meal is thought to be | | | | You should not be guided by what others might |
| between $65 and $150 per person. If two of | | | | give. |
| you will be attending together, you would | | | | |
| double that amount. This is NOT true | | | | Shop for a wedding gift according to what you |
| according to etiquette. Furthermore, a recent | | | | think the bride and groom will like, not |
| survey shows that only 10 percent of brides | | | | according to the price tag. If they have |
| agree with that idea. If followed, it would | | | | registered at a local store, check the |
| mean that a couple choosing a casual affair | | | | registry. If you see an item you want to buy |
| would receive less expensive gifts simply | | | | and can afford, don't be turned away because |
| because the reception was casual. | | | | it is the least expensive item on the |
| | | | registry. |
| 2. Positive: Emily Post says there is no | | | | |
| rule. You should let your affection for the | | | | Send Wedding Gifts and End the Competition |
| bride and groom guide you, but you should | | | | |
| stay within your budget, and be financially | | | | Etiquette says wedding gifts are to be sent |
| responsible when you buy a wedding gift. The | | | | to the bride's home. They are not to be |
| giving of wedding gifts is not a competition. | | | | delivered in person, either to the home or to |
| Your gift should reflect who you are and your | | | | the wedding location. If wedding gifts are |
| relationship to the bride and groom. If you | | | | delivered to the wedding location, the bride |
| cannot afford to give as much as you would | | | | and groom should wait and open them at home |
| like, remember that the gift can be given | | | | in private. |
| within the first year after the wedding. | | | | |
| Sooner is better, of course. But with that | | | | Finally, whether a wedding gift costs $5 or |
| much time, you may be able to save enough to | | | | $5,000, a well-mannered bride and groom will |
| purchase the wedding gift you would truly | | | | accept it graciously and appreciate the |
| like to give. | | | | thoughtfulness. |