| You've been asked to be best man at a wedding. | | | | ceremony and guard them with your life! Make |
| What an honor! Someone clearly thinks very | | | | sure you have these prior to leaving for the |
| highly of you - you must be quite the | | | | ceremony. If the couple will be leaving for their |
| guy.Flattered to the hilt, you happily agreed, but | | | | honeymoon directly after the reception, you may |
| now that you've gotten yourself into this, you | | | | also be asked to hold any plane tickets for safe |
| realize you may not be entirely sure what you | | | | keeping until the couple is ready to depart the |
| supposed to do as the best man. Just what | | | | reception.Hang on to the payment for the |
| exactly are the responsibilities of the best | | | | ceremony officiant (the minister, rabbi, or other |
| man?Yeah, I know, you're usually a pretty | | | | religious officiant, or the judge in the case of a |
| confident guy, but now you're feeling just a touch | | | | civil ceremony) as well as payments for any |
| nervous and a little unsure of yourself. Maybe you | | | | ceremony musicians (organist, soloist, string |
| haven't been to that many weddings, and if you | | | | ensemble, etc.), and ensure everyone gets paid at |
| have, I'm betting you weren't carefully studying | | | | the end of the ceremony.You may be required to |
| the best man. The maid of honor, maybe - but | | | | stand in the receiving line either immediately after |
| not the best man. No doubt you had much better | | | | the ceremony or at the start of the reception. |
| things to do!.So now that you've been selected to | | | | Sometimes the best man and groomsmen are |
| wear these shoes, you're feeling uneasy...You | | | | excused from participating in the receiving line - |
| don't want to come off looking foolish, and you | | | | this will be the couple's call.It is traditional and |
| don't want to get anything wrong.Chill, honey. This | | | | customary for the best man to make a toast to |
| is going to be a piece of cake for you. We'll run | | | | the groom at the reception. If you are so inspired, |
| you through everthing you need to know, and | | | | at your option you may also toast the bride, or |
| you'll pull it off with class and ease. You'll be the | | | | toast the bride and groom together as a couple. |
| man of the hour by the time you're through this | | | | No raunchy stories please - this isn't the time or |
| little crash course. A real confidence man.Let's | | | | place. The groom's grandma and great Aunt Alice |
| take it from the top, shall we?What is a best | | | | will be there. Not to mention his new wife. Keep it |
| man?The best man is the person selected to | | | | classy.Sometimes the best man is also asked to |
| "stand up for the groom" at the wedding. The | | | | serve as Master of Ceremonies (otherwise |
| best man must be of legal age because he also | | | | known as the MC) at the reception, while in other |
| serves as a legal witness to the marriage. | | | | instances, someone totally different may fill this |
| (Remember, apart from all the wedding hoopla, | | | | role. If you are asked to MC, at the appropriate |
| marriage is a legal contract!).During the ceremony, | | | | time, usually following the meal, you'll have the job |
| the best man stands next to the groom (to the | | | | of introducing the bridal party seated at the head |
| groom's right side). If there are other male | | | | table, and of announcing special guests (like the |
| attendants (ushers or groomsmen), they will | | | | brides great-great-great-great grandma), or |
| stand to your right side.If there is no ring bearer | | | | out-of-towners. At the appropriate time, you'll |
| for the wedding (the little guy who carries that | | | | announce any of the individuals who will be |
| frilly little pillow onto which the rings are | | | | proposing a toast or making a speech. You'll read |
| sometimes tied), the best man may be asked to | | | | any telegrams that have been sent to the bride |
| hold the rings during the ceremony until the big | | | | and groom from out-of-town guests who could |
| moment comes for the couple to exchange vows | | | | not attend, and you'll make any other special |
| and rings.Since the best man serves as a legal | | | | announcements that are passed on to you. Now |
| witness, towards the end of the ceremony you | | | | don't let any of this get you uptight - the bride |
| will accompany the bride, groom, and maid or | | | | and groom should provide you with written notes |
| matron of honor (who is also a witness), to | | | | and instructions to prompt you on who to |
| witness the signing of the legal documents.At the | | | | introduce and what to announce, you won't be |
| conclusion of the ceremony, the best man | | | | expected to memorize it! Once the dinner portion |
| escorts the Maid or Matron of Honor up the aisle, | | | | of the festivities is over, and the party really |
| following directly behind the bride and groom.As | | | | starts to get under way, all MC tasks are usually |
| you exit the church, you will stand with the bride, | | | | taken over by the DJ or band leader, freeing you |
| groom, and other bridal party attendants to pose | | | | up to party down!Hang on to the payments for |
| for photos.If all of this seems a little overwhelming | | | | the vendors who will be providing services at the |
| or difficult to remember, don't worry - it will all be | | | | reception, and disburse the vendor payments to |
| carefully explained, and you'll get the chance to | | | | the appropriate individuals at the end of the |
| practice it, and ask any questions you may have, | | | | reception.Help the bridal couple make a smooth |
| at the wedding rehearsal a day or two before the | | | | exit at the end of the reception. Ensure that a car |
| wedding.The Right Man for the JobSo who should | | | | will be waiting for them, or drive the new Mr. and |
| be a best man at a wedding? If you are asking | | | | Mrs. yourself (only if you've been sipping nothing |
| this, you're second guessing yourself pal. The | | | | stiffer than soda-pop throughout the evening, |
| groom picked you because you're the man! He | | | | otherwise leave the driving to someone |
| knows what he's doing, so relax.The best man | | | | sober).Other miscellaneous responsibilities:You may |
| may be the best friend of the groom, or a buddy | | | | be asked to run the occasional errand, help in |
| of the groom; he may be a brother, step-brother, | | | | decorating cars or the reception room on the |
| or close cousin of the groom; he may even be | | | | wedding day, or other such small tasks. The |
| the father or the step-father of the groom - | | | | couple will let you know if they are in need of any |
| which, in this wedding expert's personal opinion, | | | | of these sorts of favors from you.What |
| totally rocks (who could be more deserving of | | | | expenses is the best man responsible for?As the |
| this honor than dear old Dad?).What are the duties | | | | best man, you'll need to cover the cost of your |
| of the best man?Let's start with the best part | | | | wedding day attire - tux or suit, shirt, tie, |
| first, shall we? If you'd like, you can host a stag | | | | appropriate dress shoes. Generally the couple will |
| party for the groom. I bet I don't need to explain | | | | choose the attire for you and the other wedding |
| what that is. Keep in mind that stags are optional; | | | | attendants, but it's still up to you to pay for what |
| you are not obligated to host one, but you may | | | | you'll wear. The couple may have you and the |
| do so if you wish - and IF the groom does not | | | | other attendants rent tuxes (which will generally |
| object to the idea. (No, really. Some guys don't | | | | run you between $50 - $100), purchase new |
| want a stag). You might also ask the other male | | | | suits, or, in the case of a less formal wedding, an |
| attendants in the wedding party if they'd like to | | | | easy going couple may allow you to wear a suit |
| host it with you, but they too are under no | | | | you already own (assuming you have one which is |
| obligation. It's strongly recommended that you | | | | appropriate), but don't hold your breath on that |
| discuss your intentions with the groom before | | | | one!Like any other wedding guests, you'll also |
| making any firm plans for a stag. Some guys | | | | need to budget for a gift for the happy couple, if |
| have agreements with their brides-to-be that | | | | you intend to give them one. Etiquette says that |
| there will be no stag party, and others have | | | | gifts at a wedding are never "required", and |
| made promises about the types of activities | | | | should never be expected by the couple. |
| which will and will not be involved. This can be a | | | | However, though wedding gifts aren't mandatory, |
| very touchy issue for many brides-to-be, and | | | | they are somewhat customary, so do what feels |
| today many grooms, of their own free will, simply | | | | right for you.If you don't live in the same city or |
| prefer to keep things pretty tame and mellow. | | | | town where the wedding is taking place, etiquette |
| The last thing the best man should be doing is | | | | requires that the couple cover accommodation |
| creating upset between the bride and groom, so | | | | expenses for attendants who must travel to |
| remember, talk to the groom-to-be about the | | | | participate in the wedding (but you pay for your |
| types of activities that he is interested in, and | | | | own transportation). Now brace yourself here; not |
| determine what will be acceptable.Attend fittings | | | | every bride and groom today is as up on their |
| for tuxedos or suits at the scheduled time.Attend | | | | etiquette as they should be. If your bride and |
| any pre-wedding meetings or parties for the | | | | groom seem oblivious to the fact that this is the |
| wedding attendants.Attend the wedding rehearsal, | | | | proper thing for them to do, you can always send |
| and rehearsal dinner (that part is easy, just show | | | | them to this article to give them a gentle |
| up and enjoy!).On the day of the wedding, arrive | | | | heads-up.There it is in a nutshell. With all this info |
| at the groom's home prior to the ceremony to | | | | under your belt, you'll pull this gig off like you've |
| provide him with moral support, and ensure he | | | | done it endless times before. Now there's just |
| gets to the church on time!Hold on to the wedding | | | | one last instruction... Enjoy the wedding!by Linda |
| rings and the marriage licence prior to the | | | | KevichEditor, SuperWeddings. |