| When you are preparing to get married, you have | | | | - What will we do about kids' college funding |
| a lot of details to take care of. You want to find | | | | (assuming we have kids)? |
| the perfect dress. You want to find the perfect | | | | - Will we have kids? |
| flowers. You think you've already found the | | | | - How many kids do we want? |
| perfect spouse. But if you want to have the | | | | - Is mom wanting or planning to stay at home or |
| perfect marriage, rather than the perfect recipe | | | | work? |
| for divorce, make sure you find something most | | | | - If she's staying home, what can we do early in |
| couples neglect: the perfect marriage counselor. | | | | our marriage to make that work financially? |
| Studies have shown that couples who invest in | | | | - What will we do about discipling children? |
| quality pre-marriage counseling are more likely to | | | | - If either spouse is bringing children from a |
| avoid divorce. By quality, I don't mean a one-time | | | | previous marriage in, how will we handle them? |
| visit with your priest or family friend. I mean you | | | | (and how will we handle ex-spouses?) |
| sit down and unpack issues that I promise will | | | | - What are our feelings on religion? |
| arise later in your marriage. | | | | - Do we want to go to church together? |
| The top four causes for divorce are money, | | | | - How big a part of our life is our religion? |
| in-laws, religion, and children. When you sit down | | | | - How will we celebrate religious occasions? |
| with your counselor, you need to unpack these | | | | - Do we want to pray or read scriptures |
| issues. You need to decide how you will approach | | | | together? |
| each of these subjects. If you (foolishly) decide to | | | | - How close do we want to live to our in-laws? |
| only address one, make it money. Money is the | | | | (this answer may change after a year of |
| biggest cause of marriage fights and divorces in | | | | marriage) |
| America. Couples fight about money at all stages. | | | | - How do we want to handle holidays with |
| When you make sure that the two of you are on | | | | extended families? |
| the same page, you can avoid most of those | | | | - Do we want to start our own traditions or go |
| fights, thus ensuring a quality marriage. | | | | back to our parents? Which set of parents? |
| What type of things do you and your spouse | | | | These are not the least of the questions that you |
| need to discuss? Some issues might include: | | | | will need to address in your marriage, but they will |
| - How do we feel about debt? | | | | give you a good start. These issues are far more |
| - How much debt are we comfortable with? | | | | important - and cause far more tension - than |
| - What are our financial goals? | | | | toothpaste squeezing or toilet paper rolls. Address |
| - What is our starting-out budget? | | | | them before you say your vows, and you will |
| - What will we do about retirement savings? | | | | have a much easier first year of marriage. |