| ..about the mix of love, marriage and
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| | involved at all.
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| money.
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| | But where does that great love go? And it
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| 1. The honeymoon was over before it
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| | does go.
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| began. Cousin Joe came to your parents'
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| | The romantic phase of a relationship is
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| wedding reception drunk, made a speech
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| | blind. When the blinders wear off you
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| about the bride and her old boyfriend,
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| | begin to see each others as individuals.
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| infuriating your father. His father
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| | You begin to compete, like siblings. If
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| kicked Joe in the shins. Joe howled with
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| | you grew up with a brother or sister
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| rage. The best man dragged him outside
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| | close to your age, you know how to fight
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| and your mother spilled red wine on her
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| | and get over it. But, If you didn't have
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| $1000.00 wedding gown.
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| | a close sibling, you don't know how--and
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| 2. The reception cost $10,000.00. Your
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| | your spouse does!
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| mother's parents put up $2,000. That's
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| | Then, when the fighting starts the love
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| all they could afford. Your Dad's parents
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| | dies hard, unless . . .you both decide to
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| didn't put up any money but they gave
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| | keep it alive,not the crazy "in love"but
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| them $500 for the honeymoon.
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| | a conscious, willing exploration of your
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| 3. The honeymoon cost $6,000.00 and it
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| | own subconscious mind, and an open
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| rained the whole week.
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| | sharing of your discoveries.
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| 4. Your parents spent the first ten years
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| | For example, one man told me that he
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| of their marriage paying off their
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| | doesn't like to French kiss. He said it
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| wedding. That's why they waited so long
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| | gave him "the willies". His wife was
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| to have you. Those years weren't a whole
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| | terribly hurt. She felt rejected by him.
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| lot of fun.
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| | He loved her every other way, but his
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| That's one story. There are too many like
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| | tongue embarrassed him.
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| it.
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| | In writing about his tongue he uncovered
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| The point: our culture builds fantastic
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| | the source of his embarrassment and spit
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| illusions about weddings. We spend far
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| | it out for good.
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| too much on them and often suffer great
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| | Another way to keep love alive involves
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| disappointment.
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| | recognizing the role of projection in
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| I want to spare you that disappointment.
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| | everyday life. Everyone projects his
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| I want you to experience the joy of
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| | feelings about himself onto others at
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| everyday love and laughter from an
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| | some time. If I think I am clumsy today,
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| inexpensive wedding, with friends you
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| | I notice how clumsy everyone is. If I
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| don't need to impress, in a marriage that
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| | feel fat, I notice everyone else's fat.
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| lasts because it's based on reality, not
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| | If I feel good, I notice how pleasant
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| illusion and hype.
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| | everyone is today.
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| I write from bitter experience. I married
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| | We tend to project our self-criticism
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| twice for the wrong reasons. When I
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| | onto the ones we love, killing love.
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| finally learned to live alone, support
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| | Recognizing self-criticism will keep love
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| myself, find my own strength, my own
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| | alive.
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| values, I married again for the right
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| | Recognizing the source of your attitudes
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| reasons. What a relief. What a joy.
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| | toward and habits with money will save
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| So be careful when you read those bridal
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| | many a fight. (Try my Money Fight Saver.)
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| magazines and honeymoon ads. Broken
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| | Since love is more important than
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| illusions are not only painful, they're
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| | vitamins for good health, make sure you
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| expensive!
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| | keep it alive.
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| And besides, after the honeymoon you have
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| | As long as you keep uncovering your whole
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| to know how to keep love alive.
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| | mind and sharing it with your lover, you
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| Remember when you first fell in love?
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| | will keep love alive and live long and
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| Glorious, wasn't it.
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| | wealthily. There are several fascinating
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| I'm sure you know why the phrase is "fall
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| | ways to do this. My website has quite a
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| in love" not "step in love" or "crawl in
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| | few.
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| love". You fall, "head over heels".
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| | Besides, the hidden advantage of using
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| There is nothing rational about sexual
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| | your whole mind with your lover is
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| love. It's called "blind love" because
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| | laughter, and that really keeps love
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| the frontal lobes of the brain are not
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| | alive.
|
